Time for something Different

Welcome to 2013 this may be our first time getting together this year, and a great time for us to concentrate on the really important parts of our lives.

The New Year is a metaphor about taking action isn't it, it can speak volumes about:

A fresh start

A clean slate

A process of renewal

An emergence

A rebirth

A Second chance to do things differently this time around.

The new year is indeed an affirmation, for you to take as you choose.

I wonder what will you accomplish this year, perhaps you will move closer to your hopes and dreams daring even more than ever before to put your own happiness at the forefront of all you do.

It may be that this year, you will learn much more about how you can use NLP in your own life. Changing our own internal representations and creating indestructible belief systems for the better. Putting patterns of behavior where you want them, while dumping out more of those useless habits that held you back in days gone by.

Even now we are a month into the new year and what positive changes have you already began to notice.

I believe just knowing about NLP no matter what experience level is one of the best things that can happen to a person.

Because we can always improve by learning more and practicing, can't we.

How many ways for example can you begin to use your own knowledge of NLP right now. Have you ever taken a moment out to just sat in a comfy chair and think about just how much you already know about the resources you already have within you ?

You as a curious NLP'er, have an indispensable selection of solutions that will enrich your life experience forevermore, as long as you continue to use them.

Becoming a whole person, whatever that means to you, is the first step in personal and professional development.

Finding out what really serves you in a meaningful way and daring to take baby steps at first to make giant progress is the mark of a real champion.

Perhaps not a champion in the sense that we are used to, but a champion to your own liking. Mastering yourself, a champion capable of going for and getting the Gold in your own life.

A solid part of you that you can count on through thick and thin, that shows up in any challenging circumstances.

The ability to master your own mind and be more flexible in any situation will twinkle and glisten long after all of our Holiday decorations have been put away and forgotten.

Daily mastery of your own mind will simply come easily to you, when you begin to practice a Self hypnosis plan.

Self Hypnosis used frequently will work on the utmost levels of unconscious thought processes

that may have been going against the grain.

Also, you may be surprised how writing a positive expectation journal and moving into it will give you a focus and direction in your life which shows up in your unconscious beliefs and actions.

You can also incorporate ever so easy exercises like:

Acting as if

Circle of excellence

Threshold patterns

All of these exercises are greatly improved when you play with your submodalities and if you are having any challenges in those areas remember to Overlap your rep systems to get you stared 

These little habits that you develop when you begin to challenge yourself and raise your own bar repeatedly, really are the difference that make all the difference in the long run.

How many ways for example, can you use NLP to improve your own life ?.

I hope you will consider the importance of your own happiness this year too, and getting yourself to a place where you can say;

“Today was a good day, there was some challenges and yet overall today was a good day”.

A great quote I learned from Oprah was "Persistence over resistance". 

How to Nurture yourself right Now

Many of the people who are interested in NLP are people who have had challenges within their own childhood experience.

This pattern will help you to decide the skills you wanted or needed in order to have the best advantage for our life.

After you have run through this exercise for yourself, a few times you may also like to use it with other people, It is awesome for coaching interventions.

Richard Bandler co creator of NLP says adjust and calibrate to suite the person you are working with or yourself. And do everything until you get the change you want.

Remember every single one of us has our own Map of reality.

Thank you to Shlomo Vaknin and  The Big Book of NLP Techniques for Including this pattern that we are playing with today.

Remember as you experience any NLP technique it is up to you to make it your own and be creative with how you tweak it just for you, or your clients.

Are you Ready to make some changes ?

Let us begin:

Step 1
a) Close your eyes and go Inside your own mind to think about the best types of attributes that  your chosen parents should have to meet your needs and how they will Guide you in the best way possible through life.

b) Consider all your emotional and developmental needs to create a more nurtured you. There may be many elements of parenting that you feel you were missing.
c) Now find / Imagine or create in the forefront of your mind / body a person or persons with the skills that you need to be your parents.

Step 2
Develop your parents to in every way be the best for you, fill in all the details until you are satisfied  and you are beginning to get a sense of what will work very well for you.

Step 3 
Internally experience your relationship now and notice how they express their nurturing and unconditional parenting skills that help you become the best person you can possibly be to the hilt of your own personal fulfillment.

Step 4
Access your Timeline and float above the top traveling to the very day of your birth, when they were waiting for you to be born.
Experience them waiting to welcome you into the world as your eager, excited and loving parents, engage all of your senses to fill in the quality of their parenting with all the nurturing skills you desire and draw your attention how it feels, as you experience it.

Step 5
Experience your life as you travel through each stage of childhood and to the now. Notice all of the positive differences that having these wonderfully supportive and loving parents have created in your own life conditioning.

You may also notice a few of your previously underdeveloped attributes have now become so much stronger and vibrant giving you a sense of wholeness.

Step 6
Make peace through love and understanding of where you are now, and release the shell of the person you once felt you were.

Keep your parents in your senses and accessible for any other time you may want to refer to them for Support, Love and Guidance.

Feel their loving comfort always in your life.


Step 7
Re orient yourself completely in the now fully integrating a sense of peace and well being from this wonderfully brand new experience.

Close your eyes again to fully associate to the well being of having wonderfully caring, loving and nurturing parents who are always available to give you guidance.

Feel their overwhelming love and support even as you open your eyes.

Conclusion
Have some fun with this exercise it is very easy to do and the rewards are instant and overwhelming, if you really get into it. do it as often as you like I am sure you will enjoy it.


Nisada Coaching

NLP - Spatial Anchoring | NLP is Fun

I thought this was a Cute Video to share with you.
Former President Clinton Famous for knowing his way around a Tricky Press Conference, is discussed in these clips provided by the Daily Show

What is Spatial Anchoring ?
This is Setting up conditioned responses (unconscious Expectations) in other people to influence then into an expected way of responding in non verbal communication.

Whole Body Positioning:
You may use Your whole Body by positioning it in certain areas of the stage or room floor
ie: Every time I move to the right it emphasises Bad
Every time I move to the Left it amplifies Good
The middle means Neutral.

Non Verbal Conditioning:
Or I can use My hands, Feet fingers Head, or any close by instrument (such as a pencil) for subtle and not so subtle ways to set up the Anchor and fire it, oer and over again during the course of a conversation.

How People use Space to Locate Choice:
When speaking to a person if you notice their Eye accessing cues and Calibrate you will begin to notice where he/she stores their Timeline and if their accessing cues are normally organised.

This is Involving pretty Good Calibration skills and asking provoking questions to get the responses to calibrate

Ask a Question:
I would start with questions that a person has immediate access to, and then compare how they find the answer for something way in the past of that may be untrue for example.
You could ask a person .. Think of somebody you like ... Think of somebody you really don't like.
You will notice they look in two different places for these memories.

Influence and Set up The Anchor:
If you wanted to Influence a person you would set up firing your anchor spatially by amplifying these feelings on the side that they had great memories of.

You can Use any Object too:
We can use any object we like to anchor a person, it is a One Trial learning association, and the closer we can get  to the peak on the leading up side the better our Anchor will be.
Depending on where you are get creative and pick up whatever is around you to set up the anchor.

Btw if you enjoyed reading our NLP Blog then why not look through  some of our other informative posts on NLP is Fun.
Thanks for stopping by, speak with you soon.

NLP - Rapport Better Connections | NLP is Fun

Rapport as an Unconscious Process
Since we know a larger part of Communication happens under the surface we can lend this theory toward understanding Rapport.
Rapport although can be a conscious process is much more effective when used in an unconscious and elegant Unconscious Competent way.

Kick some Boxes around 

Certainly taking a look at Traditional writings about Rapport is a great start. If one wants to care more than using a Rapport Outline then there is more to understand about Human Connection and Animal Connection and Infact the Energy of Connection.

Thinking outside the Box helps .. In fact I am a huge Box Kicker ... I believe in thinking outside of the Box once the information inside the Box has served a Purpose, That has been performed and duly noted, After all a Box is just a Box ... How many ways can it be used though ?

So What is Rapport Really Then ?
Rapport is a Connection to another Energetic Source which includes an Animal, Plant, Human or any other living entity.
In order to best understand Rapport one should begin the practice of connecting with a Baby or a Dog for example, who only really respond to energy and maybe Tonality anyway.


Why the need for internal Congruence ?
So the most important component for Rapport to work well is how congruent your own internal state is before the external communication begins.
Your internal representations have everything to do with your own state building. The Words, Pictures that you play and feelings these create then grow legs and become Actions.

Thought That Creates a Feeling = Emotion
An Emotion creates an Action ... Good emotions create Actions that support you and Fearful Emotions create Actions that you believe protect you ... these are not things you really want or feel passionately about.

Rapport is a process of using Energy 
My Personal theory is Rapport an Energetic process that  begins as a thought, from the first thought one creates an Energetic connection to the person one is thinking of.

Why Do we speak of Rapport, in any case ?
Rapport gives us a "In" a thick layer of influence with another entity when done well. It allows us more glue to explain our intentions and communicate them as being "Win Win" good rapport engages agreement every step of the way through the process.
Rapport is the basis of Hypnosis and Hypnosis is the basis of Rapport.

Isn't all communication persuasive and therefore Hypnosis ?
Communication is a way of sharing ideas and Good Communication is making sure your ideas stick out and are received well and the entity you are connecting with are happy with it.
Good communication is first set with an intention, and then creative ways to achieve your objective are worked in on the Fly, depending on the responses as you engage.
Good Communication is like a sophisticated Dance, like Salsa or The Tango for example. Many times you can appear to be dancing on the spot and it is necessary to remain Calm and focused during the process. People often loose Good communication with themselves when they are unable to stay calm and focused on the invisible outcome.

If you can hold the thought of your outcome, you will gain the agreement you are hoping for by staying calm and focused.
Slow things way down if you find you are getting hot under the collar and remember the original reason for communication.
Often people can get drawn into emotional clashes because they loose focus of the original objective and get caught up in a spaghetti junction of somebody else's Fear based Thinking + Feeling = Emotions = Actions/Behaviour.
You will put yourself in danger of loosing and not be able to maintain Rapport if your emotions get the best of you.
Instead Stay Calm and wait for the earliest opportunity when you have the reassurance of your opponent you should continue to proceed and see how far you can go expecting to reach the finish Line each time, and being patient and graceful if stopped (Interrupted) and repeating the process until you Win.

Do we Always Need Rapport ?
We always need Rapport, although there are many times when it becomes effortless and happens naturally for example when a person is with somebody they are attracted too or happy with.
Sometimes we need lots because a person can be disagreeable, the best thing to do is create the situation in your mind that you do want, this begin the flow and direction of the Energy. This sets the Intention which is invisible but strongly felt by both parties.


What Happens if we do not have Rapport ?
If we do not have Rapport we "Feel" Uncomfortable around the person who we do not have Rapport with and so do they.
We can call them "Stand Offish" "A loner" and so on.
Again Rapport begins with a Thought and if a person has little or no interest in socializing there begins the heart of the problem.


Can a Skilled NLP'er Find a way to create Rapport ?
Absolutely Every single Time and that has much to do with how a Skilled NLP'er communicates with themselves and develops and maintains their own Internal Representations.
They Should begin to pick up on what is exciting the person and allow them to speak about it for as long as they like and then agree with them, You can easily create an Agreement Frame and many other language patterns that help you to break down the barriers of discontent in other people. Remember you will be constantly Pacing the current Experience and then Lead them where you would like them to go, while using their own examples keep Testing, Keep Calibrating, keep going until you reach your goal.

Sometimes it can take a while, Like a Tug of war the way to do it is change Tonality and get creative sometimes asking the same question in as many ways as you can, always sandwiching in "softeners" that your audience respond well too, you must listen to what is important to the person you are speaking to and sometimes that means finding the integrity of a higher value they have not yet understood for themselves.

Being an NLP'er means you become a behaviour Detective looking for the incongruence between the words, How they are used and the Actions/Physiology/Behaviours and other unconscious Signals.
So it takes practice and skill but each of us begin somewhere right ?
And as I said earlier, Think of it as Hypnosis the more presuppositions you stack the more progress you make toward the direction of your choice.

How do we create and Maintain the best Connections ?
We maintain the best connections by managing our own state and personal Power, Physiology and having patience and commitment to a flexible approach focusing only on a clear end result.
The Pictures we see in our mind create the Feelings which creates the Behaviour ... Always. So make sure you have the right movies playing for the Game you are in Currently.

We pace the current experience and then Lead. we need to use wonderful calibration to understand the feedback that is being transmitted consistently no matter how subtle.
A word about micro expressions: while some may like to study these, I believe way before you will see these an unconscious knowing will occur if you are paying attention, so use micro expressions with a pinch of salt and just note the incongruence and explore further and adapt to engage in a more supportive and conducive way that makes progress with your original outcome.

Is there room for improvement from Traditional NLP  ?
Absolutely, Rapport is about developing a Flexible approach and getting good at thinking on your feet, each person is different and Real Rapport will not be transmitted without congruence.

Use what you like, practice, practice Practice watch how people communicate with each other from afar watch conversations on your TV with the Volume down and understand the connection and if people really are enjoying the experience.

Watch for subtle shifts and more that language can often schmooze over, begin to notice everything about the person you are communicating with.
Rapport begins with the Opening Communicators Intention. followed by great State building way before the first Physical Interaction takes place.

More about Energy and Collective Consciousness
My Belief is that we are all Energy, and can be tuned in, or can tune in to a collective consciousness of Rapport, way before we physically meet any person.
Being in Rapport with ones self lends much to the way in which we can be in rapport with other people ...
So if Feeling good Feels good why aren't we doing it just for the sake of it. And to make it even better we get more of what we truly want when we feel great.

Think of it as a Transmission ..
The most useful of processes is the one that will allow the Operator, and receiver/Transmitter to achieve our end result faster, more naturally, more congruently and more cohesively.

Consider these Questions as you study Rapport 
I would pose the question ... How can the process be improved, How we teach others to expand their understanding of Connection.

What is the Reason Behind Learning Rapport in the first place ?

What Type of Connection is the Operator Looking for ?

Is there any room for significant Improvement, Personally from the operators point of view ?

Is there any Room for improvement Personally from the Receivers Point of view ?

If you enjoyed reading this is article on our NLP Blog about Rapport then you may like to help yourself to the other informative and empowering Posts on NLP is Fun.

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