Sunday, January 31, 2010

Virginia Satir and her influence to NLP | NLP is Fun

While Virginia Satir was not an NLP'er she was instrumental for providing part of the Original Patterns for NLP.

The way in which she was so effective in her language and Communication with those she worked with is evident to anyone who has seen her in Action.

It has been said that when Richard Bandler Modeled her he discovered 7 Patterns of transformation that she had in Rotation.
4 of which she said she was Consciously somewhat aware of.

She has written or Co written 12 Books of which I have read 5 of them and so highly recommend the following.

My most favourite of all her books is actually Changing with families. The beautiful book she wrote with John Grinder and Richard Bandler.
One of my friends Mark Gittos has a signed copy (the lucky Devil)

As you can see this book is not readily available but can sometimes be found from resellers.
It is Beautifully written and when I began to read it the first time, could not put it down until I had finished.

It really is helpful if you want to understand how she was using language in Family Therapy.

The New People Making is a Great Book to read and re - read if you work with families or do any type of Relationship work Virginia writes as if she is talking to you and I love her style so much.

Step by Step is Great as she wrote it with Michele Baldwin who wanted to learn more about how Virginia created her processes in Family therapy.

The Satir Model is a really in depth review of all Virginia's over all work and was written by John Banmen Jane Gerber and Maria Gomori.

This Book I carry in my purse sometimes as it is such a short read that packs a heavy punch, when I first read this book It was life changing. I really really recommend you read this one and especially Changing families as an NLP'er.

I wanted to share this Last Book with you I haven't read it yet myself. I am a Huge Fan of Steve Andreas',  Connirae Andreas and Tamara Andreas' work. They have contributed so much to the Field of NLP and are still contributing and align themselves with Phenomenal Trainers that contribute so much to our field.

Here is the book he wrote about Virginia Satir, It only has one review although its a good one and it had a preview window which I always like and so far I am impressed.

Before I go I wanted to leave you with this Article that Steve wrote on Virginia Satir Here is the Link.
I am Off to Buy His Book.

Have a Great Weekend and remember to have more fun than you think you can manage ;)

If you enjoy this NLP Blog then be sure to share it with more people you know will benefit too.
There are over 200 more Empowering articles to love and remember NLP is Fun so you can satisfy your craving for NLP and gain the whole experience.
Thanks for reading, Speak soon.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Language, Behavior and Consciousness - Milton Erickson

Dr Milton Erickson was a Great influence to NLP because of the great success he had with his patients using Hypnotherapy.

He mastered and taught  Installation of Multi layered communication to achieve miraculous results.

One of the skills he developed as a sickly youngster was highly attuned observation. He began to take a second and Third look at communication that was happening around him and notice Minor shifts revealing major incongruence to the language spoken.

Milton was a master at Observation so much so that to Patients he was able to develop such deep rapport they felt confident that he knew all about them.

They felt safe finally. The Metaphors he discusses in his Teaching Tales are designed to provoke responses in one way or another.

Richard Bandler and John Grinder were introduced to him through Gregory Bateson. They began to study and Model (through Audio, Video and manuscripts) how Milton was such a wizard with his Patients and the unconventional ways he would move his patients in his "Teaching Tales" style.

They Wrote "Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton Erickson Volume 1 and 2 which are great books to have if you do not yet have them.

Here are more books about Milton Erickson which will be in many NLP'ers Library:

My Voice will go with you - Sidney Rosen

Uncommon Therapy - Jay Haley,

Training Trances - John Overdurf & Julie Silverthorn,

Monsters & Magical Sticks - Steven Heller & Terry Lee Steele

And some more that are very good additions:

Taproots - Bill Ohanlon

Ericksonian Approaches - Rubin Battino

And Also These Exercises on CD

Hypnotherapy - Milton Erickson/Ernest Lawrence Rossi

The Febuary Man - Milton Erickson

A Teaching Seminar with Milton Erickson - Jeffrey Zeig

In fact Anything written by Milton Erickson

And other books which have been written about him may be duplicated to some degree and yet still provide new insight and information.

One of the reasons I enjoy him so much is because of the way he has touched so many lives in Teaching and healing at multiple levels of consciousness and so beautifully.

It is a shame there are not as many Video clips and Audio available that are still great quality. He left a fantastic legacy and some very Large shoes to fill.

I am confident, The more you learn about Milton Erickson's style the more Amazing you will become at NLP.

Nisada Coaching

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

NLP Eye Accessing Cues | NLP is Fun

Eye Accessing Cues describe a systemic process in which John Grinder and Richard Bandler discovered that people will move their eyes in a sequence of directions as they are accessing information.

This is especially useful to discover how a person is speaking thinking, and ultimately how they make decisions and put their strategies together.

Helpful to people who want to know their Truth such as in a court case
Helpful in Therapy to find out their internal processing style and internal sorting technique
Helpful in Coaching often for similar reasons
Helpful in Human resources to gain information on Strategy
Helpful in Sales for Buying Strategy
Helpful in negotiation and Influence for obvious reasons.

In fact it is useful in all communication.

It is noteworthy to say that you will find some people culturally or because of Brain hemisphere have reversed eye accessing cues and in this and every case simple calibrating will prove effective before learning strategies.

It was also noted that when using Sensory predicates the eye accessing cues would match too.
Below you can see a chart of how the information is processed.

It is a fun way to play around with NLP to ask questions that evoke responses and calibrate how the person you are speaking to accesses information.

1. What does your dogs bark sound like
2. What does your Mum look like
3. What did you do on your Birthday
4. Where are you Going on your Holiday
5. Say your Twelve times table
6. Who was president of USA in 1988

You can make your own fun lists this is just an example, the tip is to make sure they access different information to see how they are organized.

If you are having difficulty readying the eye movements choose much more specific questions and take your time to calibrate responses, your predicates are important too, to begin with keep it simple and continue to notice what you notice.

Everyone has a unique systemic processing style, some people almost hide their eyes and turn them down or shift sooooooo slightly it is barely noticeable.
In this case you will likely find they are using another signal to transmit this information, it can be the slightest muscle tone or head gestures even pay attention you will begin to notice more and more.

You can also Influence people in this way to by a Suggestion as in Milton model Language for Conversational Hypnosis or Waking Trance states.

"Do you remember a time when ....." and leave a space for the person you are speaking with to access that information.

Of course always make sure you have tons of rapport and that the person you are working with is comfortable.

Then note which side they shift too, this is also a great calibration technique if you cannot tell how they are organized.

Do you know this is used by government officials as part of a calibration system to track the Truth about what you are saying.

The trick is to practice while watching Tv or something, I often find it interesting to tun the sound down completely and watch a Panel like sports or news and notice the various ways that people are responding and communicating with each other.

The Whole picture is important to note in all communication, we are noticing if Body, Speech, breathing, Color, Rhythm, movement, eye patterns, Eye size, Muscle tone, posture, Tonality and so much more all line up to tell the same story.

We are looking most often for incongruence, this is a clue to investigate further.

In time you become really good at Calibrating peripherally and unconsciously.

A bit about the back office stuff:
Here is a Link from Robert Dilts's website telling us more about Neuro scientific research development in this Area

Brain Hemispheres and their Function:

The Brain is where we process our internal and external stimuli it is the processing hub so to speak.
The Cortex of each hemisphere of which there are 4 called Lobes.

The Frontal Lobe is considered our emotional Control center and where much of our Personality is processed. Tasks such as problem solving, memory, language, spontaneity, judgement, social and sexual Behavior, Impulses are stored here.
They are also especially vulnerable due to large space they take up in the front lobe of the brain.

The Parietal Lobe located on the back side of the brain has 2 functional regions:
Sensory and Perception
Integrating sensory input, mostly with the visual system.
This lobe functions to turns sensory input into an aligned perception which we call cognition, The second is to represent the world around us as a Spatial coordination center.
Abnormalities in body Image for example can originate here.

The Temporal Lobe located front side above the ear. highly functionality in the area of Memory processing of sensory information. All sensory input.
A damaged Temporal Lobe can cause loss of speech or language use and organization, lack of recognition in faces and loss of musical ability depending on where the damage is located.

Occipital Lobe located at the back of the head and the center of our Visual perception system, Disorders of the Occipital Lobe can cause Hallucinations and illusions as well as loss of Vision, Visual distance perception distortions, lack of color,
word blindness and loss of writing ability.
If you enjoyed this blog, then please share it with somebody you know who can benefit from this information and all of the other amazing articles on this Site.

If you enjoy this NLP Blog then be sure to share it with more people you know will benefit too.
There are over 200 more Empowering articles to love and remember NLP is Fun so you can satisfy your craving for NLP and gain the whole experience.
Thanks for reading, Speak soon.

Representational Processing styles in NLP | NLP is Fun

Representational Systems are Modalities in NLP some people believe they are one thing or the other for example some people may say "I am Kinesthetic".

This is not likely that a person is just one thing like Kinesthetic as we process with all modalities interchangeably and at times have a driver which is the one we lead with.
Sometimes it depends on what we are doing for a new sequence in processing to develop.

Here are the Representation systems.

Visual - To See (predicate) Look- See - Picture
Auditory - To Hear (predicate) Hear - Listen -Loud
Kinesthetic - Feelings (predicate) Feel -Touch -Smooth
Olfactory - Smell (predicate)Nose - Smell -Inhale
Gustatory - Taste  (predicate) Taste -Sweet -Spicy

There are also unspecified Predicates and here are a few:
Decide - plan - think - activate

Synesthesia means we can be processing with all of them at the same time instead of sequentially.
You can often notice people making rapid eye patterns and marking things out with their body as they process information.

I do this quite often and wasn't really aware of it until my son brought this to my attention while I was leading a Training class.

These are neurological mechanisms and are beyond our conscious control.
These representation systems activate memories that stimulate behavioral responses during and after we process incoming information. It is like a type of coding that helps the brain sort out how to file the information.
When we look for that information as a resource to communicate it comes out exactly as it was coded.

Which is quite interesting as we just spoke about leading with one rep system.
For example, If the info has been perceived and coded as Kinesthetic we will engage with that rep system each time we access it and will speak in Kinesthetic language (predicates) to describe the experience.

Predicates are just the sensory based language we choose to describe our experience.
As I said earlier, we can also change the system we lead with and if so the majority of our predicates will change too.

One interesting thing about predicates is that communication often breaks down if you are not paying attention to how the person  you are communicating with is processing information.

Mostly we reference V.A.K even though some will lead with O/G. There are usually sensory cues that will help us adjust to this and we can adapt and also lead with O/G to stay in Rapport.
Remember any mismatch of Leading rep systems can cause a problem with understanding each other.

For example there can be MAJOR conflicts in relationships when one person is Auditory and another person is Kinesthetic.

Each person will Feel as if they are not being heard ;)
In other words the kinesthetic Driver will expect the Auditory to respond and code the information back in kinesthetic language and then they will "feel assured" they were understood.

When this doesn't happen the kinesthetic will fill in their own sensory calibration of what just happened based on a distorted perception and recollection of a distorted experience.

They will then take action based on how they have processed and coded this information.

This pattern is a Mind Read - If each person didn't check to find out if they had the right sensory calibration and instead filled in with their own perception and assumed it to be truth we call this a "Mind read".

Often after a conversation in their own head after this, they then feel that because they did this It made me feel like that and react accordingly.

ie: He ignored me and made me mad implying that ALL of the control is outside of themselves
(They were driven too it!)
We call this Cause and Effect.

At the same time the Auditory Driver is doing something quite similar they are not being reassured they were "Heard" and begin to feel ignored.
They react according to the way they have processed this information and formed their own sensory calibration which is based on a previous distorted experience and a distorted conclusion of this experience.

There is quite a bit more about Rep Systems and just how useful they are to notice and work with and we can talk about that another day.

Remember When learning new things it is good to get Small Chunks at a time, Bite size pieces. If you like this NLP Blog then be sure to share it with more people who will benefit too.
There are over 200 more Empowering articles to enjoy and remember NLP is Fun so enjoy the whole experience.
Thanks for reading, Speak soon.

Using NLP to Change your Life

Before you decide to Change it is important to experience what the change will feel like, look Like Sound Like and if it is a good "Ecological Fit" for you.

One of the ways we can do this is by Building the Desired State First, you can do this by fully engaging all sensory experience to the change and running it through your mind and Physiology right now.

You can play with Submodalities to improve your experience while intensifying the state.

Get yourself to a place of believability and excitement, this is really important.

It is not only useful and fun, it gives you a chance to really experience what the change will be like and the best of all is that your unconscious mind will have the experience stored in your memory muscle.

When you get to "Peak State" then Anchor it so that you can fire this anchor whenever you like, this is great for times you are in public and want to rekindle your Excitement and motivation.

It has been proven that leading Athletes, Actors, Speakers and other successful groups get "Into A Peak state" like this way before getting the real job done!

Some engage these techniques as much as they physically practice.

Also the more you do this the more it becomes a reality and a habit, which strengthens the Neuro pathways you have created to develop this new habit.

After doing this for the first time Decide where you are right now. Engage your physiology to work with you and journal your findings.

The next step is to "build a bridge" to where you are going, your motivation is now on your side as you have experienced it at "Peak State" and anchored it.

Fire your anchor as often as you like.

What resources do you need to get to the Change "New Habit"

Make  a list of things that will improve your chances of being successful. Put your list s a reminder someplace you can see it first thing in the morning.

Keep building the Peak state and making the Peak state Pictures, Sounds and Feelings larger than the Current state, this will help you to remember what to focus on.

The closer it is to you the better it probably feels.

It is likely you notice how much submodality subtle shifts make massive improvements to your sensory experience.

Work your plan and keep calibrating, find out how and if the plan is working.

Test your Journey, you can Future pace and keep future pacing until you know you have a way to connect all the resources together to cross you over your bridge to make the change.

Remember creating a change has to begin with a huge desire from within to move towards your change. This usually happens when you are sick and tired of the state you are now in.

Have fun with it and journal your findings.

Flexibility is key and there is no wrong way to do it, experiment until you get it right for you.

Nisada Coaching

Monday, January 11, 2010

Kicking a Habit EZ when you know how | NLP is Fun

Making Change happen in your life happens after you replace the habit you wish to change, with a habit that reinforce the desired change.

A)Switch the old habit that you are sick of having
B) For a Brand New Habit that Motivates and Compels You

In order to make this a reality and stay on track these new habits should be habits that feel good and are motivating to you.

Example of the old habit:
You wish to stop smoking and usually have a cigarette  each day at 11 am while at work, and really look forward to it as a break.

You need to switch the Association:
You have connected the Idea of "Break" and "Cigarette" as one, now you will teach your unconscious mind that a Break is separate it means a pause, relaxation and you can be doing other pleasurable things during your break, which will loosen your association to Smoking here.

You will create new Neural Pathways with Repetition and Pleasurable Association:
In time with constant repetition the old desire will become forgotten and the new habit will replace the former.

At 11 o'clock Tomorrow you will continue changing your mind and habit and replace your anticipated enjoyment with a chapter of an amazing book you are reading.

You will still get to take your break and you will continue getting through an exciting book or may even learn a new skill.

The Book can be replaced with doing other things you enjoy too (you may not for example find reading enjoyable or exciting).

Remember Motivate the Change with something you feel passionate about:

Each new Habit requires a motivation, what is motivating you to do something new.
How compelling is the motivation to do the new habit ?
What will help you along the way when times get tough.

If we look at this from a very simple point of view:
What is more motivating
a) Doing the old habit
b) Doing the new habit

In the end one will be more compelling than the other !
This is the Habit which will win for the time being.
You want to create a Propulsion system (that is a complete system) check the ecology always.

Remember if you don't crack it the first time keep going until you do, if this is what you really want.
There are many ways to remind yourself of your motivation in order to keep it in the forefront of your mind and they must turn you on and trigger your unconscious processes as a reward that you love.

Sometimes, you may just want to get away from something awful. In the beginning this may be huge and drive you forward however in the long run after you are "away" from it in perception you can become less proactive, that is if you are motivated just to react to something that is driving you bonkers.

Find an exciting Goal that thrills you and add it or even replace it instead of your "away from".

How you feel about your motivation is very important.
If your motivation does not "move you" and create new feelings of excitement and anticipation within you it is hardly compelling.
If your old habit can create more powerful feelings and associations than your new motivation it is easy to guess which one will win !.

Make up your mind first and stay in the game:
If you don't crack it the first time you can find a more compelling motivation next time.
You may not yet be fully congruent, at an unconscious level. For example you may not yet have identified all of the secondary gain in having the addiction or problem.

Take some time out to explore your many reasons for wanting to change a habit in the first place.
It is likely you will have many reasons until you dig deeper and find the real reasons deeper in your subconscious mind.

You can continually relax and ask yourself, What is my Highest intention for creating this change also and patiently listen to what comes up.

Once you are able to connect with these reasons, you can easily find examples in your own history of why the time to change is now.
Look for your Threshold, your "point of no return" (so to speak) at what point did the habit become so sickening that you decided to take action to change it.

See yourself achieving it:
Completely engage in this memory amplifying all sub modalities and recreating it several times to experience all the feelings associated with wanting to change it.

The Objective of changing is to create a more compelling future and once you have decided to do something new you will do the same exercise connecting to just why it will be so amazing and what you will get out of it, how it will improve your life , what people will say, how you will feel, what you will look and feel like.

Create excitement for your new habit:
Many habit changes begin by conditioning your mind, some have called these "Affirmations".
In this case I will call them "Active Thoughts".

I am calling these Thoughts "Active" as they are about Movement and Physiology these thoughts carry emotions that create a certain mood within you.

Conditioning your mind to learn new things comes with applied Action,do you agree ?
Success of any kind requires persistence, Learning, application, Tweaking, Testing and Calibrating, Preparation and more Testing until you get it right for you.

Keep Going become a Mind builder:
Remember if you haven't cracked it yet it doesn't mean you won't ever it means you haven't yet !
How serious are you about Learning NLP and becoming excellent at using it each and every day, what are you doing regularly to improve ?

If you like this NLP Blog then be sure to share it with more people who will benefit too.
There are over 200 more Empowering articles to enjoy and remember NLP is Fun so enjoy the whole experience.
Thanks for reading, Speak soon.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Are you Motivated ?

"Change is Good" They say (who are they ?)
At the Beginning of the year many (who) are thinking I should change some things about myself.

What do you really want to change ?
And what would that be like ?
Can you identify the reason that is so important to you?
What is your motivation ?

There may be some things you would like to improve these are generally speaking "Don't wants" for example:

I don't want to be poor - so I should make more money
I don't want to be Fat so I should loose some weight.

Where is the motivation, in many cases moving away from things that have become habits is not so helpful as you are still focused on "Don't wants".

In order to create the "Don't want" it is necessary to first make a picture of it in your mind.
When you make a picture of it, often other things start to happen like:

You  say words in your head to remind yourself of times you may have "Failed" in the past, which creates lousy feelings and sometimes feelings of Overwhelm too, which may result in taking no action as you don't know if it is worth it or where to begin.

How then can you be motivated to create the desired change ?

Think about what you really want ?
What are the reasons you really want it for example:

If I make more money I can be able to do more of the things I love.
What Things are those exactly Tap into the other things you would like to do in the future that making more money will afford.

Once you make pictures of "it" frequently in your head and manifest the feeling of what that would really be like, you are now living through it.

Your unconscious mind cannot tell the difference, it has been proven that Sports coaches who used the methodology of having Team members visualize making goals had greater success on the field than those who didn't.

You can score your own goals at home whenever you like, and build feelings that generate excitement about your experience.

Towards and Away From come from "Meta Programs" we will speak about Meta Programs in greater detail at another time.

The more you Practice the better you become at the game.
Try it on see and if it fits !

Friday, January 1, 2010

If I can have anything in the world, here is what I want

Happy New Year !

There are many different ways of searching and motivating yourself into action. today we are going to throw caution at the wind and begin unconventionally. Throughout the next week you will learn many different ways in which you can decide on what your next move will be.

The first question is what do I want ?
The second question is why do I not have it yet ?

From there you may be presented of lot's of things that stood in your way, that's ok because it is helping you identify the things you do not want.

Now imagine you have an old empty sandwich bag like the one that is left close to the Rubbish after you have eaten your sandwich for lunch and it has some mayo left on it, well put all your don't wants into that bag, just for now, you know where they are.

Now since those are cleared away get a pen and a piece of paper and write down all the things in the world that you do want ever and under any circumstances. I mean just because you cant afford a rolls royce now it doesn't mean you don't want it ... ever !

Now continue on and write down all of the things you want, no matter how ridiculous or far fetched it may seem, and while you are doing it really expect that you are going to get it, I mean really tremble in anticipation for these wonderful life changing desires that you are manifesting and fully enjoy the experience of having them in your mind and body.

Keep going and going until you get all of your wants on the piece of paper.
Throughout the day and even tomorrow think about ways in which you will make these things on your list a reality.

You will likely notice just how amazingly great it really feels when you begin to focus on anything you would like to have in the whole wide world.

You will notice that some things on your list you are focusing on more than others and it may be that those things are more of what you really want right now !

If you find you are reminded of the old soggy lunch bag by the rubbish with all the don't want's in it really give a great thought to if you really want to carry that stinky soggy old bag around with you any more and get that mess all over you.

When you are ready you can just slip it into the Trash after all you don't pick through Trash do you ?

Now where were we oh yes,
Keep your feelings going really well on the expectation that you have created  from your want list as you focus more and more on it, when you go to sleep at the end of the day you will be really excited to know your mind will sort through all the files available and come up with lots of pathways toward you getting what you are focused on.

Remember when you attach meaning to the things you want and allow your feelings to intensify and for longer your want's become more and more important your unconscious mind then realizes oh this is what we are going for now I better get to work.

Your unconscious mind finds all the necessary resources to put together a plan step by step to make it happen for you.

Let me know how you get on, we will talk again soon.

The mind truly is amazing,

Robert Fritz once said "You want what you want wether or not you think you can get it"

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