The Top 10 Skills of Excellent Communicators | NLP is Fun

Excellent communication skills are essential in today's society, in fact the better you are at Communication the better your quality of life will be.
NLP is the most exceptional tool for advanced communication. Every thing about Neuro linguistic programming is designed to improve the way in which we communicate with ourselves and each other.

When Richard Bandler and John Grinder Modeled the best communicators at the beginning stages of designing NLP they found the following qualities in each of them.

See No Evil |Hear No Evil |Speak no Evil .. unless of course, it is part of your Communication Strategy and is the best way to build Rapport with whomever you are speaking with. Speaking their language always and in all ways.

1, One must be absolutely clear with the outcome and stay focused on it, improving along the way as sensory acuity dictates.

2, The person with the most incredible flexibility wins and can stay in the game the longest, adapting as necessary.

3. The advanced communicator is well managed and is in control of their responses and reactions, knowing how to reset their emotions to neutral states quickly even if caught off guard.

4. They understand the essential importance of Rapport.

5. They control the frame, they design the states in other people to move in the direction of the desired outcome.

6. They stay focused and are disciplined in their processes, even if it does not seem so.

7. They view a Challenge as something exciting and strive to enjoy all challenges.

8. They have a flexible and positive attitude.

9. They live by the presupposition, the meaning of my communication is the response I am getting.

10. They are persistent and always have an association to the outcome no matter what it looks like, they are absolutely certain they will achieve their Goal.

How many of these skills do you currently posses and what are you doing to improve them ?

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Change your mood quickly with Positive Anchors

Since we are sensory beings we should take every opportunity to use what is already available to change moods in ourselves and others.

We can find Anchors that we already have set, and fire them when we like.
Another word for an Anchor is a Conditioned response. Something we react to without really thinking about it.

Anchoring becomes part of our hard wiring locked into our neurology and can be used to create great responses when we like.

If you would like to take it a step further and learn about Chaining Anchors then check out the post.

On the other hand some triggers are not useful and create moods in us that take us to unhappy places, this can happen repeatedly in people and they may not even notice.

Here are some positive Anchors I can think of.

Auditory / Sounds = That Trigger strong Emotion
Bob Marley = Strong positive mood

You Try Any:
love Song
Nursery rhyme
Great Dance song
Song from your Youth
Important Speech
Or more ..



I used to hear Bob Playing more than a little bit when I was a child, so listening to him at any time creates strong positive feelings, and reminds me of what I wanted to achieve as a child.

Olfactory / Smells =  That Trigger strong Emotion

Cream Coconut = Happy

You Try Any:
Food
Perfume
House cleaning agent
Rain
And more ..

I cannot smell this without thinking about Happy times when I was a little girl and waiting for the Rice and Peas to cook every Sunday. just smelling it takes me back to those, and many times since.

Kinesthetic  / Touch = That Trigger strong Emotion
Angora Wool = Cozy

You Try Any:

Texture of any kind
Cold / Hot
Anything you can feel that quickly triggers an Emotion

I remember the power of Angora against the freezing cold snow to the point where I could even be too warm in this lovely wool.

Gustatory / Taste  = That Trigger strong Emotion
Tomato Sandwich = Fulfillment

You Try Any:
Taste that takes you to another mood and place

I remember our Family enjoying Tomato Sandwiches and relaxing together, on picnics and more.

Visual / Seeing = That Trigger strong Emotion
The Beach = A combination of lots of different positive feelings

You Try Any:
Visual that instantly changes your mood.
This Visual pulls deep into other sensory experience
For example:

I can smell it
I can see it
I can imagine how the sand feels
I can taste the Salty water
I can hear the seagulls and waves crashing

   
Notice 
The more the senses are engaged the more powerful the feeling.
Have fun with it.

NLP Eye Accessing Cues | NLP is Fun

Eye Accessing Cues describe a systemic process in which John Grinder and Richard Bandler discovered that people will move their eyes in a sequence of directions as they are accessing information.

This is especially useful to discover how a person is speaking thinking, and ultimately how they make decisions and put their strategies together.

Helpful to people who want to know their Truth such as in a court case
Helpful in Therapy to find out their internal processing style and internal sorting technique
Helpful in Coaching often for similar reasons
Helpful in Human resources to gain information on Strategy
Helpful in Sales for Buying Strategy
Helpful in negotiation and Influence for obvious reasons.

In fact it is useful in all communication.

It is noteworthy to say that you will find some people culturally or because of Brain hemisphere have reversed eye accessing cues and in this and every case simple calibrating will prove effective before learning strategies.

It was also noted that when using Sensory predicates the eye accessing cues would match too.
Below you can see a chart of how the information is processed.

It is a fun way to play around with NLP to ask questions that evoke responses and calibrate how the person you are speaking to accesses information.

1. What does your dogs bark sound like
2. What does your Mum look like
3. What did you do on your Birthday
4. Where are you Going on your Holiday
5. Say your Twelve times table
6. Who was president of USA in 1988

You can make your own fun lists this is just an example, the tip is to make sure they access different information to see how they are organized.

If you are having difficulty readying the eye movements choose much more specific questions and take your time to calibrate responses, your predicates are important too, to begin with keep it simple and continue to notice what you notice.

Everyone has a unique systemic processing style, some people almost hide their eyes and turn them down or shift sooooooo slightly it is barely noticeable.
In this case you will likely find they are using another signal to transmit this information, it can be the slightest muscle tone or head gestures even pay attention you will begin to notice more and more.

You can also Influence people in this way to by a Suggestion as in Milton model Language for Conversational Hypnosis or Waking Trance states.

"Do you remember a time when ....." and leave a space for the person you are speaking with to access that information.

Of course always make sure you have tons of rapport and that the person you are working with is comfortable.

Then note which side they shift too, this is also a great calibration technique if you cannot tell how they are organized.

Do you know this is used by government officials as part of a calibration system to track the Truth about what you are saying.

The trick is to practice while watching Tv or something, I often find it interesting to tun the sound down completely and watch a Panel like sports or news and notice the various ways that people are responding and communicating with each other.

The Whole picture is important to note in all communication, we are noticing if Body, Speech, breathing, Color, Rhythm, movement, eye patterns, Eye size, Muscle tone, posture, Tonality and so much more all line up to tell the same story.

We are looking most often for incongruence, this is a clue to investigate further.

In time you become really good at Calibrating peripherally and unconsciously.

A bit about the back office stuff:
Here is a Link from Robert Dilts's website telling us more about Neuro scientific research development in this Area

Brain Hemispheres and their Function:

The Brain is where we process our internal and external stimuli it is the processing hub so to speak.
The Cortex of each hemisphere of which there are 4 called Lobes.

The Frontal Lobe is considered our emotional Control center and where much of our Personality is processed. Tasks such as problem solving, memory, language, spontaneity, judgement, social and sexual Behavior, Impulses are stored here.
They are also especially vulnerable due to large space they take up in the front lobe of the brain.

The Parietal Lobe located on the back side of the brain has 2 functional regions:
Sensory and Perception
Integrating sensory input, mostly with the visual system.
This lobe functions to turns sensory input into an aligned perception which we call cognition, The second is to represent the world around us as a Spatial coordination center.
Abnormalities in body Image for example can originate here.

The Temporal Lobe located front side above the ear. highly functionality in the area of Memory processing of sensory information. All sensory input.
A damaged Temporal Lobe can cause loss of speech or language use and organization, lack of recognition in faces and loss of musical ability depending on where the damage is located.

Occipital Lobe located at the back of the head and the center of our Visual perception system, Disorders of the Occipital Lobe can cause Hallucinations and illusions as well as loss of Vision, Visual distance perception distortions, lack of color,
word blindness and loss of writing ability.
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