Sunday, November 29, 2009

Influences to our Language and Behavior - NLP Communication | NLP is Fun

When we think and speak something we are experiencing our own "Point of View" or "Map of the World" if you like, "our own idea of Reality".

We can often get an understanding of how people experience the world by the way they re-present this information in their Language (the words they choose to communicate).

Q: How is this possible, How can we tell so much from a person with an offhand comment or statement.

A: People translate their interpretation of an experience through their preference and most related sense of communication and add their own ideas of Beliefs Values and experiences to the mix.

People often communicate in ways that they believe are absolutes such as:
"Everyone knows we have always done it this way" .. see the Meta Model

These are Translations of the Speakers experience and not Everyone's way of understanding these experiences.
In other words this is their own "Map of the world"

These are examples of Generalizations that can be Extreme at times depending on our own Values, such as:
"You said you would always be available"
In many cases the people using these statements have been influenced in their own experience to believe these statements to be unquestionable.

And People can possibly get upset when Challenged about their beliefs.

Beliefs can become entangled with a persons Identity at times especially when many in their peer group share their same beliefs and reinforce them regularly.

This can happens in:
  • Families
  • Organizations
  • Religions
  • Peer groups
  • Fraternities
  • Cultural environments
To Challenge a persons Beliefs can leave them in a state of confusion, they may then consider everything they know to be true is untrue and feel uncertain about their life.

This can often lead to arguments and anger if a person is determined to protect their Values and Beliefs, they may not be "open" to new ideas which feel uncomfortable and unfamiliar.

* When Beliefs and Values are challenged, there is an ecological way of doing this in Neuro linguistic programming which we will discuss at a later date.

Our Communication is influenced By other factors too such as:
Our Family, Religious, Cultural, Socially appropriate Beliefs

In NLP a person will usually refer to 3 or more of these Senses in a particular order more often, even if using all 5 Submodalities VAK = Visual /Auditory / Kinesthetic are used most often even though Gustatory and Olfactory can be immense influential drivers.
  • Auditary (Hearing and Speaking)
  • Visual (Seeing)
  • Kinesthetic (Feeling and Feelings)
  • Olfactory (Smelling experiences)
  • Gustatory (Tasting experiences)
When we verbalize these representations we call them predicates.

We explain what our interpretation of these events mean to us.

And how we use our Submodality choices and convert them into the way we that we store this information.

How we then recall this information, digging into our unconscious mind, what it reminds us of and what else it connects to within us in our realm of experiences and processing.

Conclusions getting ready to communicate to the world after processing, now using our submodalities, Values, Beliefs, Deletions, Distortions to piece together "the story"

Explaining through our verbal and non Verbal communication our Take on the information after our own processing = Our Map of the world

It is not surprising when we consider these processes that we can all have "different takes" (example of Kinesthetic predicate) on the same experience.

Different things in the experience are more amplified to different people and so they may "focus more" (example of Visual predicate) on interpreting these sections of the experience as these "ring a bell" or "resound True" (example of Auditory Predicates) for them.

For now I hope this has been some "food for thought" (Olfactory/Gustatory predicate) that leaves you with a hunger for more knowledge about NLP (Kinesthetic /Gustatory predicate).

Remember, How we feel Influences our Actions and Behavior Consciously and Unconsciously. We are communicating something even by not communicating (Generalization).

Our Non Verbal Communication is even more powerful than our words (Generalization/Deletion/Distortion/MindRead and Auditory/ Kinesthetic predicate wrapped up in a "Map of the world").

Using Deletions Distortions Generalizations and often Mind Reads are common in Communication as we learn more about Language you will begin to notice these Violations more and more in everyday communication.

The objective is not necessarily to Challenge the violation, It is very useful to understand where a person is Coming from, their 'Map of the World" which will help us to learn their experience in processing and ultimately their actions.

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